Random thoughts from 2006 briefly considered through the medium of new(ish) music that I have listened to in alphabetical order during a train ride that completes the last leg of a fortnight of travel OR a poor attempt to create order out of chronological chaos in the face of a new calendar year.
Art Brut- “And yes, this IS my singing voice. It’s not irony, it’s not rock n’ roll, we’re just talking to the kids.” In the year 2006, I occasionally wrote about rock n’ roll and I got sent toSXSW to write concert reviews and rock out.
Band of Horses- Do you have a front porch or a back porch? Do you sometimes eat breakfast at 1pm on a Sunday and drink coffee and talk about the night before? Yes. Me too. In 2006, I listened to Band of Horses in these situations.
Bob Dylan- Modern Times. This past summer Dylan talked about the lack of quality in modern sound recordings. Critics who only read sound bytes interpreted this as though he was saying modern music is terrible. He was kind of saying that, but it was more about the technology and how the sine curves these days are too exaggerated and loud and things were simpler when everything was analog. He also references Alicia Keys on this album (I think, I can’t tell because I can barely understand his voice because the poor audio quality). And he was in a new iPod commercial. I love this guy. Digital makes analog better.
Clipse- “Hello New World” is my anthem for 2006. Contextualizing rap lyrics is good exercise. Clipse is from VA. Specifically they’re from Tidewater. The mouth of the Chesapeake. It’s where a lot of boats came to settle America. The 757 area code has gone from powdered wigs to baking soda. “Hello New World.” Capitalize. This isn’t just for the players in VA; it’s for the players everywhere. Oceans, yachts, shipping channels, post-colonialism, red right return. House of Burgesses. Law. May 19th born Taurean. Poet Laureate.
CSS- At first, I thought this was a band that was all about Cascading Style Sheets. Then I realized I was spending too much time as a professional computer dude. Therefore I didn’t like them for a little while because it made me self-conscious about being a big nerd. Then I saw one of their videos and realized they’re really beautiful people and the music wasn’t meant to be listened to but only watched and I just wanted to dance when I get out of the shower instead of drying off with a towel.
El Perro Del Mar- If I had a girlfriend during the year 2006 and she were in a band, I wouldn’t mind if she were in El Perro Del Mar. She’d play me songs on a ukulele. For my birthday she’d do something artsy craftsy and definitely not give me a gift certificate. But, if she did give me a gift certificate, I would have bought the El Perro Del Mar album. Later, we would break up and I would listen to the album while I reminisced about those times I dated a girl from the band El Perro Del Mar.
Ghostface Killah- If I could tell stories as well as this man, I would not have a blog. I would write novels that our children’s children would learn in 4th year Literature courses that took entire semesters to unravel.
Girl Talk- There’s a party and the evite was sent to your old hotmail account: my_ni3ce_mywitness@hotmail.com. Had you received the email, you would have eRSVP’ed, “Hold me closer, Tony Danza!”
J Dilla- Rest in peace.
Jay-Z- Thanks for one of the best concerts I have ever seen. I like a few songs on your new album, which is pretty much how I’ve felt about all of your albums so I’m not sure why everybody is acting like you’ve lost your touch. My favorite part of your new album was watching the MTV documentary where you talked about the world water crisis and held a press conference with the United Nations. “There’s a lot of other problems in the world, I know. But first I had to take care of the world I know.” Tikkun olam.
Justin Timberlake- I considered dressing up as you for Halloween 2006 (disco ball attached to foot), but I thought it might be sacrilegious so instead I was the guy from Memento and then I was Google Maps. How do you dance like that? I have tried, but I just look like I’m walking barefoot on hot gravel during the summer. “My Love” was the best song of the year and it was wise of you to allow T.I. to contribute a verse. I particularly enjoyed it when he said, “People call me ‘Candle Guy’ / simply ‘cause I am on fire.” Do you refer to him as Candle Guy in private? Also, do you know if the reason he says “fans from Peru to Japan” is a not so subtle jab at the politics of former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori? I thought so.
LCD Soundsystem- A 45:33 album produced in conjunction with new technology that coordinates a pedometer in your shoe with your iPod music listening device. The song is supposed to follow the perfect workout trajectory. Sometimes I listen to it without working out in hopes that the music itself will just give my heart-rate sufficient aerobic exercise. I think it works.
Lil Wayne- If I had sat next to you in middle school, I’d like to imagine that we would have passed notes a lot. If the teacher ever got one and read it out loud to the rest of the classroom we would have either been sent to the principal’s office or AP English.
Mew- Have you ever been driving late at night with several people in your car and they want to fall asleep but you, the driver, have to stay wide awake? Catch 22? Nope. There IS music that you can play that somehow solves this problem. Mew is one of those bands.
Pipettes- Let me get this straight. You are hot British chicks who dress up in polka dots and sing golden oldie style doo woppy poodle skirt punk rock? Can I get your phone number? Do I dial +001? Wait, how do you make international phone calls?! Your kisses are wasted on me? Nooo. I really liked you. Miscommunication.
Timbaland- If you are applying for a MacArthur grant in 2007 based on what you did for the year 2006, please let me know if you need a letter of recommendation.
Wolfmother- My face melted off this summer. Global warming?
the Mark Pike
